Comedians Quotes - abrainyquote

“Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.” ~ Mitch Hedberg View some

George Carlin Quotes on Answers and Acceptance

“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” ~ George Carlin View

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” ~ George Carlin View some more related

“A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” ~ Demetri Martin View some more related quotes on Thursday.

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield View some

“Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.” ~ George Carlin View some more related quotes on

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” ~ George Carlin View some more related

“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.” ~ George Carlin View

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.” ~ George Carlin View some more