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Funny Quotes

These funny quotes are meant to spruce up your day. These quotes will help you inspire and motivate your friends on the very day you send them. You can also use these quotes to help guide your decisions in life, work and love. The Inspirational are motivational funny quotes are there to live with and can be used in your projects, daily chores and references.

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Robert Frost Quotes on Getting Married and Worried
Dark Humor Quotes Funny Quotes Humor Quotes 

Robert Frost Quotes on Getting Married and Worried

Robert Frost 0 CommentsAmerican poets, English-language films, Funny, Literature, Married, Poetry, Poets, Robert, Robert Frost, worry

“It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets

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Woody Allen Quotes on Decision Maker at Home
Funny Quotes Happy Anniversary Quotes and Images Occasions Quotes 

Woody Allen Quotes on Decision Maker at Home

Woody Allen 0 CommentsAmerican culture, Boss, English-language films, Entertainers, House, Sheriff Woody, Wife, Woody Allen, Writers

“In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.” ~ Woody Allen View some more related

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Abraham Lincoln Quotes on Remaining Silent
Funny Quotes Silence Quotes 

Abraham Lincoln Quotes on Remaining Silent

Abraham Lincoln 0 CommentsAbraham, Abraham Lincoln, American films, Book of Genesis, Cultural depictions of Abraham Lincoln, Doubt, Films, Fool, Lech-Lecha, silence, Silent, Vayeira

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

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Lynn Johnston Quotes on Sleep is Terrible
Funny Quotes Insomnia Quotes 

Lynn Johnston Quotes on Sleep is Terrible

Lynn Johnston 0 CommentsBranches of biology, Cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, insomnia, Lynn Johnston, Neuroscience, Night, Psychiatric diagnosis, RTT, satisfaction, Sleep, Sleep disorders

“Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all night? Without the satisfaction.” ~

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Rice and Hunger
Food Quotes Funny Quotes 

Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Rice and Hunger

Mitch Hedberg 0 CommentsAmerican people of German descent, Articles, Branches of biology, Comedians, Eating, Hedberg, Hungry, Mitch Hedberg, Rice, Thousand

“Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.” ~ Mitch Hedberg View some

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Will Rogers Funny Quotes on Good Judgement
Experience Quotes Funny Quotes 

Will Rogers Funny Quotes on Good Judgement

Will Rogers 0 Comments20th-century philosophy, Articles, Assumption, Axiology, Bad Judgement, Concepts, Continental philosophy, Experience, Good and evil, Good Judgement, Judgement, Judgment, Social constructionism, Value judgment

“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.” ~ Will Rogers View some more

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Gertrude Stein Quotes on Becoming a Genius
Funny Quotes Intelligence Quotes 

Gertrude Stein Quotes on Becoming a Genius

Gertrude Stein 0 CommentsAmerican people of German descent, American writers, Cubism, genius, Gertrude Stein, Jill Stein, Literature, Modern art, nothing, Writers

“It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really

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George Carlin Quotes on the Forces of Evil
Funny Quotes Home Quotes 

George Carlin Quotes on the Forces of Evil

George Carlin 0 CommentsAlexa Rose Carlin, American writers, Carlin, Comedians, Entertainers, Evil, Forces, George Carlin, House

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” ~ George Carlin View some more related

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John Mulaney Quotes on Being Funny First
Funny Quotes 

John Mulaney Quotes on Being Funny First

John Mulaney 0 Commentsawesome, Devon Woodcomb, Funny, Graphical user interfaces, John Mulaney, John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous at Radio City, Mulaney, Point, System software, Windowing systems

“Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that’s awesome.” ~ John Mulaney. View

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Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Following My Dreams
Funny Quotes 

Mitch Hedberg Quotes on Following My Dreams

Mitch Hedberg 0 CommentsCinema of the United States, Creative works, Dreams, Entertainment, Films, Hedberg, Hook, Humour, Jokes, Mitch Hedberg, Sick

“You know, I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up

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W. C. Fields Quotes on Getting a Lot of Sleep
Funny Quotes Insomnia Quotes 

W. C. Fields Quotes on Getting a Lot of Sleep

W. C. Fields 0 Commentsinsomnia, Musicians, Sleep, Sleep disorders, Sleep. Lot, Songs, The Cure

“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.” ~ W. C. Fields View some more quotes

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Mark Twain Quotes on Too Much of Good Whiskey
Alcohol Quotes Funny Quotes Quote of the Day 

Mark Twain Quotes on Too Much of Good Whiskey

Mark Twain 0 CommentsAmerican literature, American writers, Lecturers, Mark Twain, Mississippi River, Sagebrush School, Shania Twain, The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, Writers

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” ~ Mark Twain View some more

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Joe Rogan Quotes on Acting under Pressure
Funny Quotes 

Joe Rogan Quotes on Acting under Pressure

Joe Rogan 0 CommentsAct, Crazy, Girlfriends, Human behavior, Joe Rogan, lie, Lie algebras, Lie groups, Marketplace, Martial arts, Mixed martial arts, Pressure, Rogan

“If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.”

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Rosa Parks Quotes on Taking the First Step
Funny Quotes 

Rosa Parks Quotes on Taking the First Step

Rosa Parks 0 CommentsActivism, Activists, Alabama, Alberto Fernández de Rosa, American culture, Claudette Colvin, Community organizing, First Step, James F. Blake, mind, Montgomery bus boycott, move, Rosa, Rosa Parks, someone, Songs, United States

“I knew someone had to take the first step and I made up my mind not to move.” ~ Rosa

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Harley Quinn Quotes on What He'll Never Understand
Funny Quotes 

Harley Quinn Quotes on What He’ll Never Understand

Harley Quinn 0 CommentsCaptain Strong, Comics, Fiction, Fictional characters, Harley Quinn, Harley Quinn in other media, Harley Quinn View, Outfit, Quinn, Siperman, Superman, The Joker, Wears

“I’ll never understand why Superman wears the same outfits every day.” ~ Harley Quinn View some more Harley Quinn quotes

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Harlan Ellison Quotes on Being Stupid
Cool Quotes Funny Quotes 

Harlan Ellison Quotes on Being Stupid

Harlan Ellison 0 CommentsAmerican literature, Fiction, Harlan Ellison, mind, Speculative fiction, Stupid, talk, think, TimedText:Netta - TOY - 27sec - Sample.ogg.en.srt

I don’t mind you thinking I’m stupid, but don’t talk to me like I’m stupid. ~ Harlan Ellison View some

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Benito Mussolini Quotes on This is Fascism
Funny Quotes Political Quotes 

Benito Mussolini Quotes on This is Fascism

Benito Mussolini 0 CommentsBenito Mussolini, Corporate Power, Corporatism, Economic ideologies, Fascism, Fascism in Europe, Merger, Political ideologies, Political philosophy, Political systems, Politics, The Doctrine of Fascism, thought

Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power. ~ Benito Mussolini

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Benito Mussolini Quotes on This is Socialism
Funny Quotes Political Quotes 

Benito Mussolini Quotes on This is Socialism

Benito Mussolini 0 CommentsBenito, Benito Mussolini, Blackmail, Comedy, Fraud, Government of Italy, Italian socialists, Phantom, Politics, Socialism, Sono tornato, The Doctrine of Fascism

Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail. ~ Benito Mussolini View some more Political quotes

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Heath Ledger Quotes on This is Why You Need to Smile
Famous Movie Quotes Funny Quotes The Dark Knight Quotes 

Heath Ledger Quotes on This is Why You Need to Smile

Heath Ledger 0 CommentsBatman in other media, Batman: The Killing Joke, Entertainment, Fiction, Film, Heath Ledger, Joker, Smile, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Trilogy, The Joker

“Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.” ~ The Joker –

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George Carlin Quotes on Averting the Forces of Evil
Funny Quotes Positive Quotes 

George Carlin Quotes on Averting the Forces of Evil

George Carlin 0 CommentsActors, Alexa Rose Carlin, American writers, Burns and Carlin at the Playboy Club Tonight, Carlin, Comedians, Comedy, Counterculture of the 1960s, criticism, Entertainers, Entertainment, Evil, Forces, George Carlin, House, You Are All Diseased

“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.” ~ George Carlin View some more related

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Abrainyquote.com is a mansion of powerful meaningful quotes, inspirational quotes, motivational quotes which can be used in all kinds of occasions, holidays and events as well as in a variety of products. Know more...

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  • Anthony T. Hincks Quotes on Wednesdays and Smiles
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